Belinda Cifuentes: Dirty Hose: Cellar-Dwelling with Worst Record in Baseball

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Dirty Hose: Cellar-Dwelling with Worst Record in Baseball

Memo to Kenny Williams, The Mouth and the rest of that rag-tag bunch of Dirty Hose that some people insist on calling the Chicago White Sox, the team with the Worst Record in Baseball (lol... lol... lol...).

Enjoy the cellar, fellas! And while you're down there, get a broom and sweep up the joint. No rush, though. Take your time and enjoy the spring and summer. You'll be down there a while.

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Caught Naked in Front of Boys

I know this feeling all too well. You don't coach boys at summer baseball camp for years and never suffer the embarrassment of their not honoring your privacy when you're showering.

Then there was being caught naked by the 13-year old neighborhood paperboy. That really sucked! Only I was outside, heading in from skinny-dipping in our pool with no towel, pranked by my sneaky younger sister.

Devious boys really present a problem. Especially those you're babysitting who conspire to fake a life-threatening injury outside by one of them while you're showering ...

And when you frantically run outside while still trying to secure just a towel around your dripping wet body, the other conspirator grabs and yanks it away and before you know what is happening, he slams the back door shut locking you outside...

Of course, the first boy has NOT fallen from a tree and cracked his head on concrete as his brother falsely told you. Nope! He is gleefully snapping multiple photos of your fully exposed naked teenage body from the kitchen window and sharing them with his friends - some of whom you also babysit - before you even know it!

And I haven't even mentioned the embarrassing spankings from my mom, grandmother and aunt!

Itty Bitty Titty Committee

When full frontal nude pics of me were circulated around my high school during my senior year, I was publicly convicted of major 'bust fraud.'

The 'evidence' was overwhelming and undeniable once everyone knew I still should have been wearing a training bra at age 18 instead of stuffing an A-cup bra. (I couldn't even fill an AA cup at the time)!

How fitting indeed, many students and even some faculty felt, that an impertinent, mouthy, suspected bra stuffer had been exposed - LITERALLY!

There was certainly no point in stuffing my bra anymore after that!

In fact, I went back to wearing a training bra. See more.

'Project Payback'

~~~ by Maria~~~

My older sister, Belinda, enjoys playing Second Life. Bel's 27; I'm 24 (as of October 2012). Belinda is her real first name; "Cifuentes" is her chosen SL last name. It's actually a family name on our mom's side from a few generations ago.

What's "Project Payback"? You see back in May 2011 Bel decided to play a little prank on me. She untied my bikini strings, top and bottoms, and pulled the front of my bottoms down in front of our younger sister Anna's teenage boyfriend and his younger brother. There I was, having fallen asleep sunbathing, one leg over each side of the cot - totally exposed. So embarrassing! I'm never going to live it down.

But payback can really suck...