Things That Really Tick Me Off

Who & What Ticks Me Off

• The Cubs losing
• women-hating, sexist swine
• The f#$%?&@ White Sox (aka on this blog as the Dirty Hose)
• control freaks
• Ozzie Guillen (aka The Mouth)
• getting spanked at school
• people who are cruel to animals
• gang-bangers
• drug-dealers
• racists
• guys who are insecure with their height
• getting spanked at school with your skirt raised
• people who drink & drive
• having breast augmentation ads taped to the outside of your high school locker
• 'Nanny State' laws
• getting spanked at school with your skirt raised in front of your class
• umpire Roy W.
• having your bikini top, bottoms and towel suddenly ripped away and stolen from you after having fallen asleep sunbathing at the beach
• Miley Cyrus haters
• being 'nominated' as your high school rep for the regional Itty Bitty Titty Committee
• losing an embarrassing bet on the 2005 WS
• the pathetic  f#$%?&@ punchless Houston Astros, who couldn't hit water if they fell into the Gulf of Mexico - thus causing me to lose an embarrassing bet on the 2005 WS
• having your boobs described as looking like two pancakes with cherries in the center
• former high school classmate Shayne B.
• flimsy privacy curtains in clothing store changing cubicles
• guys who smell like they're allergic to soap & water
• perverts who slap your ass at school
• being caught skinny-dipping by the barely-a-teenager paperboy
• thieves (did I mention especially bikini thieves?)
• the infatuation so many people have with Barack Obama
• rude guys in general
• totally lame pickup lines
• corrupt politicians
• Rahm Emanuel (aka Rambo)
• high gas prices